update on the liquid diet

So I'm on day 6 of the liquid diet and I'm surviving. I have to say this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. God knows I love food and for 6 days I've given it up completely. Oh my Goodness it sucks! I miss having a grilled burger or a nice piece of grilled chicken. I have moments the past 6 days I've almost said screw these shakes I want a burger!!! And let me tell you these low carb high protein shakes are not the most wonderful thing. Thankfully I've added decaf tea to my daily intake and that helps for the flavor, but i still crave something good. Something with flavor and crunch. The first day was the worst, I was in a horrible mood and was pissy and mad at the world. The second day was better. But now it's getting bearable.

I mean I feel like I'm in the book Twilight and the human blood I crave is the one that I can't have. I want real food but it's off limits. I want to taste the garlic and meat of a wonderful burger my husband makes that's so yummy. I will be happy in 8 days when this will all be over with and I can not feel the hunger anymore. And I know I'll be even more happy when all the extra weight is gone and I can enjoy my life once again.

As the surgery draws closer I am starting to freak out some with all the what if's that run through my head. Oh they are the worst. What if I'm never able to eat real food again, what if I don't make it through the surgery in the best possible way? what if I don't make it through surgery? What if I'm not able to be a great mom to my kids because the surgery does something horrible to me? and there are so many more but I'll spare you. I try to keep thinking why I am doing this. I want to play with my kids, I want to live a long life and enjoy it, I want to be happy with the way I look, I want to show my kids a healthier way to live. So it's an up and down roller coaster right now.

All in all I'm hanging in there, it's hard but I can do it, I'm almost halfway through it now! woo hoo! Just one more week and I'll be done with the horrid hunger i feel. Everything is in order now, all of our Christmas presents are bought, our Christmas decorations are up and now we just have some stuff to ship off, and we'll be done. I have Mops Monday and it's going to be a busy fun one, I have a cookie/ornament exchange Friday night (getting some cookies for billy and the girl at the hotel), and a party to go to Saturday afternoon. Sunday we leave to stay the night in Richmond and Monday the 15th i have my surgery, not sure what time. They are suppose to call me Friday to let me know for sure of the time. I'm excited and i know this is going to be great. I know God will help guide the surgeons hands for a successful surgery. This is going to be great in a few months! I just know it!!!